Enough

   Initially, I was going to write about plus size fashion and tips on plus size shopping, but that will have to be postponed for the time being. I have a very serious subject that I think needs addressed even in the smallest of venues.

   Last night, January 26th, an 11-year-old girl from the London area took her own life. ELEVEN YEARS OLD. What would possess a child so young to kill herself? She was being bullied at school.

   This little girl had so much potential: to grow up and become god only knows what. She could have been the best lawyer,  the doctor that made a medical breakthrough, or, simply, the greatest parent. She never got to go to prom, have her first kiss, drive a car...the list of nevers are endless, sad, and above all, unjust. This little girl's life was cut short by cruel mockery and hatred. When is it enough? What is the answer to fixing this broken system?

   It takes a village to raise a child and it's going to take a village to put a stop to this hatred. As a society, we raise our children with images that are not even close to realistic: perfection based on how much your hip bones stick out, how thick your hair is, how straight your teeth are, and what name brand shoes are you wearing. Children are sponges that suck in so much information and ideals; this includes bias past on from other peers and parents. Hatred is not self taught, but inherited, passed down, and encouraged through words, actions, and simply ignorance.

    Every child's bullying experience is different and can no way be compared to others. I, personally, was bullied a lot in school and it still haunts me to this day. I was called fat, ugly, and stupid. I was tripped on the playground, pushed into desks, hit in the face with a jump rope, and had my hair pulled repeatedly on the bus. Graffiti gossip about me was scrawled into the girls' bathroom wall in the fourth grade; graffiti that I had to clean-up after it was discovered by my best friend. When the teacher was informed of the graffiti, I was given permission to skip my recess to clean up the hateful words directed toward me. ME. Not once did the teacher in question address the class on what happened.

    I was afraid to go to school for the longest time; too depressed to care about my studies or even talk to the handful of friends that I did have around. My mom was my cheerleader and my advocate. When I would come home sad, broken, and angry, she was the first to demand answers and often times she called the school and demanded action.

     Even though the physical attacks hurt, nothing compared to the pain of the words. I can't describe how much the words crippled me as a kid and, like this poor little girl, how I thought almost every night how things would be much more simpler if I were dead. I admit, from the ages of eight to eighteen, I thought about ending my own life. Even coming close a few times by saving up pills or tucking away razors; waiting for that breaking point. At that time, I thought I would be doing everyone a big favor...I never stopped to think of how it'd make my parents feel or the teachers that did care. At that time, I felt lost, hopeless, and a complete waste of space. Then one day in high school, I had enough when I was called a cow by an upperclassman. I used my wit and sharp tongue to put my bully in their place.

If I won't get respect because I'm not a stick, I'll get it because I am a stone. My new philosophy was born.

     It's a beautiful concept, but more needs to be done. It's time we take a stand: as parents, teachers, aunts, uncles, sisters, and brothers. It's time we make zero tolerance a reality and not a dream. It's time we stop ignoring the problem and start addressing it. We need to get our eyes off the t.v. screen, our ears and lips away from the smart phone, and start correcting the children that are spewing hate. Our complete disregard for our children's behavior needs to be addressed. Our ignorance is the breeding ground of hate.

     The steps can be small: start by talking to your kids. Ask them what exactly they know about bullying and educate them on the rights and wrongs. Be a constant in their lives. Then demand change in the schools: ask how you can help enforce zero tolerance. Ask what bully awareness programs does the school have in place.

     We cannot turn a blind eye to this anymore. These children are our future and our greatest asset; they cannot be left broken and in despair. I lucked out and found strength in my pain, but what about these children that are fighting more odds then I did: emotional, verbal, physical, and technological. Things have gotten more complicated and it is not as simple as "children will be children" and "getting picked on is a growing pain". Bottom line: bullying is a form of HARASSMENT and it has damning effects. It CANNOT be tolerated any more.

    Take a stand today. Not one more child.

Some facts:

1. 56% of students have personally felt some sort of bullying at school. Between 4th and 8th grade in particular, 90% of students are victims of bullying.
2. The most common reason cited for being harassed is a student's appearance or body size. 2 out of 5 teens feel that they are bullied because of the way that they look.
3. 9 out of 1...0 LGBT youth reported being verbally harassed at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation.
4. 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% percent of the time.
5. A victim of bullying is twice as likely to take his or her own life compared to someone who is not a victim.
6. One out of 10 students drop out of school because they are bullied.
7. Physical bullying peak in middle school and declines in high school. Verbal abuse rates remain constant from elementary to high school.
8. Researchers feel that bullying should not be treated as part of growing up (with the attitude “kids will be kids").
9. 41% of principals say they have programs designed to create a safe environment for LGBT students, but only 1/3 of principals say that LGBT students would feel safe at their school.
10. 57% of students who experience harassment in school never report the incident to the school. 10% of those who do not report stay quiet because they do not believe that teachers or staff can do anything. As a result, more than a quarter of students feel that school is an unsafe place to be.
11. Schools with easily understood rules of conduct, smaller class sizes and fair discipline practices report less violence than those without such features.

For more information on bullying, check out http://www.stopbullying.gov 

No thickinspiration tonight. Just please keep Hailey and her parents in your hearts tonight.

Love,
-Dee Dee